It seems as though we have a bullying problem in the schools of old Sedville. Well, most schools in most places probably have that problem but recent tragic local events have put a magnifying glass on the situation here.
When the topic of bullying comes up these days there are usually an endless stream of people who seem anxious to blame the victim: If only these coddled millennials had my intestinal fortitude then the onslaught of mental and physical abuse would just roll off of their back! We’re raising a generation of victims, back in my day we were rough and tough and when someone called us a mean name we quickly escalated the situation towards violence!
Imagine having your priorities so out of whack that you respond to a bullying victim by bullying them a little bit more.
The real disturbing part about the “Just stop being a victim, duh” crowd is that they are contributing majorly to the normalization of adolescent harassment. They just shrug and accept that there are going to be bullies, forever and that we as a society must become more like them to combat them. Boys will be boys and bullies will be bullies, right?
Now that’s a defeatist attitude. Look, as long as there are humans there will be bullies, that’s true. Even the meekest people can occasionally take something too far and find themselves on the giving end of the bullying stick. But that absolutely does not mean that we should give up on the idea of attempting to make them stop.
The first step towards changing the world for the better is to look within ourselves and first make sure that we’re really living the way that we’re expecting other people to live. It has to start within each of us: if we strive to treat our fellow person with respect then most of them are going to return that respect. If we strive to live without judgment, then we might not get so much of it in return.
So each of us, individually, has to commit to treating our fellow person better. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give your friend a little gentle ribbing – sometimes that’s just how a relationship works. But occasionally we should take the time to consider whether or not we’re actually hurting someone. If there comes a time when you can admit that to yourself, I hope you can go all the way and stop hurting that person.
And after we’ve embraced those changes within ourselves then we need to help out our children and our friends who are living a life where they take pleasure in the belittlement of others. We need to lead by example and help them understand that those who choose to bully others to make themselves feel better, or because they think it makes them look cool can find better alternatives.
So the next time you’re in an internet comment section, school cafeteria or at a table at your favorite coffee joint and you’re just about to resort to name-calling just don’t. A conversation that has devolved into petty insults is a conversation wasted. Let’s discuss the issue at hand in a reasonable manner, and come to a resolution that is mutually beneficial. Even your heated political rival deserves respect.Little pieces of casual disrespect are the building blocks of the pyramid of widespread bullying.
